


Spring Fever

by tempestJaded (parallelDiversity)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Let's talk about anatomy kids, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Sex Talk, There are not enough fics for this kink I am sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-18
Updated: 2013-04-22
Packaged: 2017-12-08 19:51:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/765322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parallelDiversity/pseuds/tempestJaded
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where trolls have integrated into human society -- </p><p>Every college student looks forward to it, every troll is startled by it, and everybody is into it: <br/>Spring Break. </p><p>However, things have been on the rocks since Karkat was assigned to John's dorm. They weren't roommates, the issue was in residing in the same building. </p><p>Finally the gang takes a trip down to the sunny south for a beach-side vacay until Karkat goes missing!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Admissions

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Mad Season](https://archiveofourown.org/works/672868) by [BlueMinuet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueMinuet/pseuds/BlueMinuet). 



> I love this kink so much and there just isn't enough fics for it. Like, seriously, there are only two others. And my OTP? I don't give a flippity fuck if JohnVris or DaveJohn or DaveKat is more popular, I am floating this bitch with a life preserver in the middle of the ocean, goddamn it!

"Welcome to Gamma State University," the chipper troll guide called over the group. Her green painted lips and fluttering olive eyes shone in the harsh morning light, demanding the student's attention. 

"Why do they call it Gamma State?" John leaned over to Karkat who would hunched beneath the weight of his hoodie. 

"They don't know much about state systems. They just figured every good university has state after the name," he shrugged, yawning in a feline manner.

The woman waved for the group to follow her into the pavillion so that she wouldn't have to talk over the drowsy youths. Her hips swung cheerily as she walked in her clenched-tight pencil skirt, her gait wide and inviting. It seemed that the midblood was enjoying her less violent duties as an admissions counselor on Earth. 

In the rounded stone pavillion she invited all the less-than-enthusiastic students to take a seat on the steps as she began her speech. As the students nursed piping cups of cheap instant coffee the troll woman began. She folded her hands over her stomach and kept her feet together as she informed the class about their first day on campus. They would be paired up with a roommate, troll or human or both, and they would have two hours to get acquainted. Once they had become friendly or positively calignous lunch would be served in the grand cafeteria. Your options would be something simple like pizza or something grand like Alternian Loks Soup with Demanche and Grub Sauce... whatever that was. 

Finally, she informed the students that no living arrangements were settled through the office. Because of recognized quadrant romantic lifestyles amongst the troll's culture where you lived was under the consent of the roommate's decision. 

"And lastly, please take note of our facilities. Besides your usual human university staff we include an Alternian tudor society that can teach humans the language and trolls English. We have a medical staff fully equipped with knowledge of both species anatomies, and a fully stocked kitchen for each student's apetite. Please find your assigned roommates in your dorms. Good morning, and," what she said aftwards was a series of clicks and chirps that some trolls rolled their eyes to. John simply starred in confusion as she walked off, heels clicking against the concrete. 

"What just happened." 

"You leveled up in society, in your terms, John." 

Before the young man could turn and say anything to the snide remark Karkat was leaping up the stairs of the pavillion towards the dorms. He called for the troll to wait up, but Kar seemed deaf to the pleas. 

"Come on man!" John shouted, lungs heaving from the jerky running he did towards the dorms. If the beginning of the school year was going to go the way of the cold shoulder then he didn't know how much more he could put up with before quitting. 


	2. 2. Tight Squeeze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, quadrant problems.

What the troll house director referred to sa your new home equated to a hive swimming, spewing, and brimming with species' adjusted and heighted hormones. Both trolls and humans were calling friends' names as they squeezed through the halls swollen with people and trolls from all walks of life. The jocks tried to mentally tall up the hottest and the nottest. The geeks unpacked their things and kept to themselves. Extroverts handed a business card to every person and invited each and every person they met to a house party later that week. Introverts piped up the music to ignore the screaming of hormonal teens. All in all, it was a truly avoidable place to be. 

"Oh... OH god," John gasped as two troll girls shoved him aside and rushed down the hall. Karkat braced the taller boy with his arms so that he wouldn't totter over in shock. 

"Did I forget to mention that our species is pretty frivilous? Asses. Courtesy is wholeheartedly a foreign fucking concept for these headcases, isn't it?"

Somewhere along the line of an explaination Kar had returned to his muttering rhetoric as he shouldered his duffle bag and pushed his way over to the bulliten board. His ruby eyes scanned the sheet in Alternian until he found his roommate. It was a young human male by the name of Luke Shipper.  The troll's brow furrowed distastefully as he rolled the name around in his mouth. It was short and sounded perky. How grotesque. 

"Oh, hey! I got some troll dude," John exclaimed as he stumbled over his roommate's name. "Shit, that's just an unnecessary amount of Qs... how do you even say that!" 

"It's pronounced Kivisus. Not that you'll remember," Kar sighed as he headed for the elevator. "Coming, fuckwad?" 

"Why can't you just be nice to me?" John sighed with a shy smile on his face as he stared at the numbers on the panel inside.

The doors closed them in the metal box and John was left wondering if it was the Alternian six or seven that he needed to press. Having seen they shared the same floor Kar reached over and jabbed the seven. John's face flushed in embarrassment as the elevator rose up the dark shaft. 

Soon silence stretched between the long-time friends until a little ping of arrival drew their attention to the doors sliding apart. The hallway of the seventh floor was significantly less crowded to the point of near desertion. This was fine for both of them who enjoyed peace and quite when needed. The most noise that either heard was rustling from inside dorms and the occasional girl or guy stepping out to take a call. 

Both of the two walked with nervous gaits as they approached their rooms. Fate would have it that they were side by side at the very end of the hall. It was like some twisted troll girl set them up just paper thin inches from each other. What kind of mind games was this university playing at? Though neither of these thick-skulled young men could see the unintentional work at hand. 

John jiggled the doorhandle nervously and found that it gave way without much force. It seemed that someone had walked around and set up their things, but he wasn't there anymore. If not for the recooperacoon standing close to a wall and the copious amount of troll belongings John would think that it was a normal college experience. Right? 

Karkat on the other hand was tackled by his roommate. The boy had tousled orange hair and fiery eyes that twinkled hazel in the dim hall light. He leaned up off of Kar's chest and beamed, waving both hands down at his new "friend." "Luke Shipper," he snickered. "You must be Vaintus?" 

The troll's face screwed up in disgust. 

"It's Vantas, you irrate swine," he beared his teeth, a low growl rising from his throat. 

"Alrighty, Kitkat," the boy laughed as he jumped up and dashed back into the room. 

Inside he had invated three-fourths of the room with his crap. Most of it was some bullshit overload on MLP posters and Star Wars figurines. The troll groaned at the thought that he'd gotten... no, don't say the words Kar. You'll put it out into the universe. It'll happen. Oh, but the troll can't resist. He's been shacked up with a fucking brony. 

From the level of bickering that was going on across the hall John had to take a peek. His blue, spectacled eyes peered around the door in utter curiousity. Just for a moment his eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. The rainbow manes, the fat little hoofs, all mixed under the unholy visage of Darth Vader's grim scowl. It was a horrific sight of a battlefield known as the crossovers. A hand flew over John's mouth before he could cry, "How dare you!" In the fashion of Molly Weasley. It was Karkat who drug him out of the room and into the hall, slamming his door behind him. 

"I don't think I can do this. I cannot sleep with that weird  _hoofbeast_ snickering over my bed with her bright little fucking eyes into the abyss. Try writing a paper in that rom and I think my olfactory passages will wither and my fucking eyes will  _bleed,_ John!" 

Egbert couldn't deny that the room was horendously decorated and that the roommate was startlingly forward in... well, everything, but wasn't it up to both parties of the room to decide who stays, who goes, and what quads are filled? All John could do was shrug nervously and watch as Kar sighed in grief. 

"Day one of eternity. I am already homocidal," he mutters before walking back towards the elevator and disappearing. 

Wow, what an interesting morning... and it's only been... Oh, look. Twenty minutes. 


	3. 3. Luncheon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't you love college cafeterias? *sarcastic smile* Don't you?

John was a little startled by the troll that walked in his room shortly after Kar's departure. Aparently he was a quiet, studious type with little to say. No chance of friendship or even silent appreciativeness there. Instead he chose to rush down the stairs and dodge business cards and hi-fives until the door came into view. With one hard shove and a gasp of fresh morning air John was free. The crisp air ran down his back and chilled the sweat and brought new life into his cramped personal space. After a few moments of deep breathing he reorientated himself and began to walk towards the cafeteria. 

Along the path John spotted Terezi and nervously waved. Since the girl was nearly blind as a bat it was a useless gesture, but she tilted her nose in the air and turned. Though her eyes were masked by a pair of ruby shades and her eyes were just the same shade John had no clue how she knew it was him, but she walked over with a wicked grin. 

"John, ole friend," she snickered through her scratchy cigarette-smoke voice. "Look at all these droll little people. Culture shock and a hemospectrum as far as the tongue can taste. Fun, right?" 

"Uh... sure," John laughed nervously, walking with her towards the door of the cafeteria. "Who's your roommate?" 

"Oh, god. Wouldn't you guess? Vriska. Bye bye GPA," she smirked, shaking her head. "Who'd you get? Crabby Katty?" 

"No, uh... some... I think he's like an emo-kid troll. Do you guys have scene kids?" 

"What's a scene?" 

The silence between them stretched painfully, but they were in the company of familiar faces and that was enough. They finally reached the door after dodging a skater, two chatty Kathies, and a pair of knee highs on a weeaboo girl practicing Japanese grammar. Inside the cafeteria was an array of students from all walks of life and death, some god tiered like John and others just picking their teeth. A few girls were promoting a club they were a part of and the others were clustered in preassigned cliques thanks to the broad arms of a cramped society.

Even so, friends were easy to find. The original twelve were circled around a table with food of all kinds at their fingertips. Aradia and Sollux were laughing together over a joke as she swept her hair into a pony tail behind her tier hood. Eridan clung close to him despite his deep conversation with Feferi. Even if he didn't notice it his eyes would look back to Sol every so often to make sure he hadn't left. Nepeta was sleeping against the strong frame of Equius who patted himself nervously with a towel. Tavros was digging into an unrealistically large pile of chicken nuggets as he exchanged shitty lyrics with stoned-ass Gamzee who only gave a drawling smile as he shot a hateful look at Terezi as she and John approached. 

Kanaya and Rose were nowhere to be found along with Vriska. Having known her all her life Terezi guessed that she was harrassing some poor girl in the hall of the dorms. What else was there to do. 

Karkat was just walking up with a tray of food when John spotted him. The two only exchanged knowing looks that said Karkat was having urges to tear into a pile of raw meat to avoid ripping out his roommate's throat. Eridan and Terezi gave the troll a sideways glance, but said nothing. After realizing the looks he was getting Karkat chose to take a small square table just beside everyone and tear into his pile of mismatched meats. There was some steaks, a few chickens, and some strange blue blooded meat. 

As Terezi settled in with everyone else John pulled a chair out across from the meat-hogger. He tried not to pry, he really did. It was just that when you see your best friend shredding a whole chicken and sucking down the slimy pieces like oysters your stomach turns and your gears of oiled curiosity turn faster. 

"Why...?" Was all John could ask before Karkat shot him a hard and silencing glare. 

"Fucking bronies... goddamn... fucking..." Karkat mashed his teeth between bites as he cracked bones and meat alike. 

"Peeved?" 

"Peeved is to this situation as little is to the iceberg that the Titanic ran into," Kar snarled, downing the last bits of the gizzards and burping irritantly. This roommate of his was really pissing him off. 

"You know about the Titanic?" 

"Yeah I watched the mov--.... read about it," Karkat shot his eyes off as he tore a steak in half with his teeth. 

John snickered delightfully, covering his mouth with his hand and laughing. His bucktoothed grin peeked over his hand as he gaped at the troll who was sighing in regret. 

"You... you watched Titanic?" 

"Look, John. Meowbeast's out of the bag. Want to know that I bawled like a baby and tell everyone that, too? Would you like to know that I sometimes sing that tragic song that went along with the great and heartbreaking death of all the best people on your shitty planet?" 

For a long time John simply stared in confusion as the troll finished off his second steak. New York Strip, too. Good taste. 

"Did you?" 

Karkat slammed his hand on the table, a few eyes looking over in hopes of peeking at a beginning fight. The stares soon disappeared when they saw it was just an angry troll. How boring, they must have thought. Not even a drop of blood spilt. 

"John, just... Don't test me," he spoke softly so not to draw any more attention to himself. 

"We could switch roommates if he's that much of a problem, you know." 

"It's not the pissy little brony bitch that humped me upon sight," he shook his head and rolled his red eyes. "Culture shock, alright?" 

"Alright. All you had to say, man. I get it." 

"Oh, do you now?" 

"Well, no, not really. I've been playing this game a long time, you know. I guess it's the wind down that's the big shock. We've all been so jittery and active for nearly five years. Trying to cool the engines off but keep the battery working is a little taxing," the blue-eyed boy shrugged, a nostalgic glance filling his twinkling eyes.

Behind those plastic spectacles he was thinking of all the blood and the battles, and then realizing that those times had passed onto higher, more peaceful grounds. How could anyone just settle down again. John felt like one of the Doctor's companions being dropped back to normal, complacant earth. Adjusting would be one of the hardest parts of forgetting the battles, adventures, and great friendships. Though, looking over to the table filled with old and new faces the boy knew that it was far from over. 

Just when John had nearly thought himself into a nap Jade wrapped her long, tanned arms around his neck and blew a raspberry against the tender skin. He squeaked, his face burning pink, but it was all laughs. 

"Hey, frownykat," she giggled. "And hello, John. Nice to see you, too." 

"Jade," they both nodded to her as she pulled up a chair. 

"So, anyway. You'll never believe who I got for a roomie. It's this crazy troll with pink hair. She's a photography major and she's a totally cutie. Don't tell Dave I said that. He's the type to challenge her or some shit. And then there was this..." Jade gabbed on and on before Karkat wrinkled his nose in disgust and jumped three feet in the air. 

"J-Jade you've got to be bleeding in copious amounts or you fucking slaughtered someone!" He gasped, eyes wide in shock. Jade's face burnt red with shame as she crossed her legs and flipped the platter of meat into his lap. 

"Thanks for the subtleties, you prick," she snapped before standing and storming off. Now more strange looks were aimed at him and they weren't of interest. John, on the other hand sighed and slicked his hand down his face. 

"Karkat," he whined, shaking his head. 

"She smells like a fucking blood bath and I'm the one getting reprimanded for noticing!" 

"She's on her period, you thick doofus!" 

Kar's eyes blinked excessively as he knawed on some of the blue meat. It didn't occur to John that trolls don't procreate through sexual activity and so the silence grew heavy. 

"Her what?" 

"Oh... god, no. I am not doing this. I am not explaing the processes of procreation to a grey skinned... fucking...  _hippo_ in a lunch room," John threw his hands up as if not to touch the subject. He would have none of it. "Just your luck. Biology tomorrow. Covers sex." 

"Se--... what?" 

Okay.  _Now_ he was done. 

 

By the end of lunch classes were starting for some and postponed for others. Luckily John wasn't jumping into any courses until the next morning. He had the whole day off. Though he'd declared his major he wouldn't actually touch any English related work until his prereqs were swept out of the way. Mostly his roommate was sulking in his recooperacoon or out with his dreary, black-clad friends so there was no worries there. It was just the overwhelming silence that bored him stiff. 

No, not that sort of stiff. That might have implied at least  _some_ sort of entertainment to occupy paralyzing boredom. 

After a long cat nap his door slammed open. John's eyes drew wide in shock, confused and not nearly awake enough to deal with Karkat's body collapsed on his floor. 

"Jesus...! Kar, are you okay?!" 

"So... many... John, your species is  _sick_!" He nearly sobbed. 

"What..." 

"Is it true... Tell me your species doesn't  _bleed_  once a month and that's  _normal_. John, I am so sorry. I underestimated your power... forgive me..." He shook his head, fighting back horrified tears. 

John only fell back on his haunches, a daze expression masking his laughter. Soon the giggles shined through and he was keeling over in a wheezing cackle. Karkat only shot up to his knees in a rage. 

"Why are you fucking laughing! How is this funny at all in the slightest! You freaks  _bleed as if nothing's the matter_!"  _  
_

"Karkat... God, you stupid shit. It's only the females of the human race and it's stranger if after sexual maturity that they _don't_ bleed."

"Wh... what?" 

"God... I am going to have to give you the talk... Come here, you stupid wad." 

"John, if you are going to bleed on me I am going to have to end this pseudo-moirailiegance here and now," he backed up a bit as he sad beside the human on the bed. 

More laughter overcame John as he tried to gain some composure. And so began the most dreaded and prematurely planned talk of all talks. 

And that, children, is how John and Karkat's first day as collegians began. 

 


	4. 4. Isn't It Grand?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isn't senioritis grand?  
> It's what my school advertises against.  
> Do your work, turn it in on time, get lots of sleep, keep trying and YOU TOO could survive senioritis. 
> 
> Anyway, have some dorky drunk!Kat  
> ***apparently popsicle is a capitalized word... alrighty***

Over the course of seven months Karkat had nearly gone insane. His mental breakdowns had increased at least by five times. The brony, sexually harrassing nutcase had jumped the troll over thirty times, each time in the nude. John couldn't say that his roommate was much for conversation sans the blaring of unholy heavy metal that the human male perceived to be Alternian death god summoning chants mixed with nails on a chalkboard. And that, my dear friends, is a literal translation. 

After all the gang gathered in Rose's dorm for a Christmas/Alternian Fistmas party it was just the two long time friends toddling along the snow-blanketed path back to Building C. Karkat was drunk off his ass, singing loudly, and trying to get John into the partying mood. The blue-eyed boy only laughed and shoved the bottle away from his lips so that he could focus on balancing his friend upright. Each time John put forth the effort to keep the troll straight he swayed and lolled his head in little circles. 

"Karkat, focus! We gotta get you home," John whined, stumbling along the icy path. 

"Noooooo, Johhhhn. God, party! Party with me John! John, I can't feel my face! My face, John," he snickered, voice rolling aroud in pitch like a rollercoaster. "My face..." 

"You doofus, it'd be werider if you could feel your face... on your face... Look, you have to get home and go to bed!" 

Kar's eyes drew wide in shock. The thought of going home to that  _freak_ terrified him. He'd much rather fill some quads and other ambiguous bucket-adjacent objects with this pretty little blue-eyes white boy. The way his eyes twinkled under the tall light hanging over their heads, his shockingly rosy lips against his milky face, the way his raven black hair fell into those ocean blue peepers(God, you're drunk); you love everything about him. 

Not even in the hate-fuck way. 

"I don't want to shack up with the borny," the troll garbled, barely making out the word brony. John snorted, rolling his watery eyes as he fought off a laugh. "His bulge is hard for me, man. Like, ya' don't even knoooooow." 

"You are drunk, troll. Drunks." 

"I am... interpatoxiculled..." He slurred, mixing Alternian and English. It was a slurry of laughter, clicks, and English. 

"You met Roxy, Karkat?" John snickered. 

"Whut?" 

"She's our drunk friend... like, terminally drunk. Wasted like a trash can. You're acting like her," he snarked, dragging the troll through a snow bank. 

"Leaf me hear to dip dye!" 

Now he was just being rediculous. Whether he knew it or not, Karkat was a mess. His hair was plastered to his forehead thanks to the unholy amount of sweat. His cheeks were flushed candy red from the interpatoxicullation. 

After some time Karkat's body went to a limp bag of pudding, dragging in the snow and lying face first in the icy blanket. John stared down at the troll and sighed, crouching down to see the state of this giddy person. 

"Jorhn," Karkat snickered. 

"Yes, Kit Kat?" The boy smiled stupidly. 

"I larp you." 

One heavy sigh and John hoisted the troll onto his back and began to walk slowly down the path. A faint snow drifted down to earth in a delicate way. If not beneath a flickering, white light on the path you were in complete darkness, a velvety veil of shadows. Despite all those facts, it was beautiful. 

Karkat was drunk, John was happy, and it was beautiful. 

 

By the time that John had made his way back to the dorm everyone was tucked away or gone away to family's homes and hives to feed the lusii. It was just how things were, no matter what the culture. 

In each hall was a pathetic excuse for a flickering, sideways-leaning Christmas tree and some tinsle hanging from places that blind, trip, and attack students. Someone stuffed poison ivy over every door thinking it was mistletoe. Half the staff and a quarter of the students were sent to the clinic. 

Just narily missing the shreds of volatile plant matter John headed down the hall to Karkat's room. He tried the handle and found that it was locked up. Quickly the boy pressed his ear to the door and found that no one was home. His own roommate had gone astray in the ways of manic holiday sulking back home and so the room was all but unattended. 

Sighing, John forced his key into the lock and pushed open the room. Just as he'd left it the room was barren and unfamiliar. Nothing person lay about like his old room in fear of crossing a line with his roommate and the only lived-in part of the room seemed to be John's bed. 

Bed. 

Hearing a few pathetic mutters from Karkat John decided to set the boy down. The troll rolled onto the bed without a care and splayed out like he was going to make a snow angel. His red eyes cracked open in a grin as he began swining his arms and legs as if to mimic the motions just so. John smiled down at him stupidly and shook his head. 

"Good night, goofy Kat." 

"Wer' ya' goin'?" He gargled, head lolling over to face John. 

"To sleep on the floor?" 

"Slep her, hooman. S'cold on the frigglishin' floor," he slurred, scooting over and patting the space beside him. 

"What if you've gotta hurl? You can make it to the bathroom. You know, down the hall. Karkat, I don't wanna get puked on in my sleep!" The boy argued, but the troll was having none of it. 

Karkat reached out with the speed of a flash of lightning and pulled John down to him by his collar. Their lips collided in a heated kiss. It was awkward with Karkat's fangs and John's two buck teeth, but it was sincere nonetheless. 

When the two parted John was flushed up to his hairline, confused and embarrassed. Karkat, however, just snickered and collapsed on his back, snoring loudly. 

Looking down at the drunk John shook his head and crawled into bed, face still burning bright pink as he turned his back on the troll and wrapped the covers around his shoulders. What was going on here. 


End file.
